Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: How do we as one person on this earth, make real change? And to me, it is kindness. It is opening our heart. It is looking at the differences that we have as something to be curious about versus something to be upset about. And that is hard to do sometimes, but it's what makes us who we are. And I challenge us all to do that. Look at, look at what brings us together, even though we have differences.
[00:00:31] Speaker B: Hi, I'm Deborah Rosman and a warm welcome to our listeners.
Each month for the Ad Heart podcast, I have the privilege of interviewing individuals who are contributing to the creation of a more heart based world.
This month I'm talking with Brooke Jones, vice president of the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation.
And I was so inspired by Random Acts of Kindness a few years ago when I first heard of the movement with its mission of making kindness the norm. And it reminded me of a kind act I did many years ago when I was a child where I was actually creating a bicycle for a migrant child from Guatemala. Took my old bike, painted it, gave it to him, and it just opened my heart, that kindness. And he ran around then and kindly did something for his mom who was there. And I just had that Kodak moment of how powerful kindness can be. And so the idea of random acts of kindness setting a movement going of kindness just really inspired me. And I know, Brooke, you have been giving a lot of your life and time to the foundation to bring kindness to schools, workplaces, communities.
And thank you so much for the work you do. Brooke holds certifications in applied positive psychology and Brene Brown's work, the Daring Way. Welcome, Brooke.
[00:02:13] Speaker A: Thank you so much. I'm happy to be here.
[00:02:16] Speaker B: So what year was Random act of Kindness formed? What was the inspiration for it?
[00:02:23] Speaker A: It's a good question. The foundation was born in the mid-90s in the San Francisco Bay area. There was what had been coined the Summer of Violence at that time. And they were talking in the press about random acts of violence. And there was a journalist who, who said, let's stop talking about random acts of violence and start talking about random acts of kindness. And so the phrase was coined and a foundation was born. And that was in 1995.
At that time, it was mostly people who wanted to see kindness. There was it's difficult to measure kindness. So they were sort of flailing a little bit with how do we make this a real movement?
So in 1999, the foundation was purchased and brought to Denver, where I am, and I've been here for 14 years.
And as you said, the. The mission is really make making kindness the norm. And I think now more than ever that is something that's challenging for us, but not insurmountable.
[00:03:45] Speaker B: Yeah. So what inspired you to join Random Acts of Kindness? What in your life did you say? Oh, I want to be part of that and help create a movement.
[00:03:54] Speaker A: Well, I had no idea there was a foundation that existed. But I, I had a difficult childhood, some abuse in the home and some things that made my childhood hard.
But I remember very clearly in those years people that had been extremely kind to me and those moments really stuck with me.
So when I had my daughter, I suffered severe, severe postpartum depression and I was really on the edge of, of, you know, where, where is my life going to go and, and can I take care of her? And the amount of kindness that was shown to me to help with my mental health to make sure that I was okay so that I could care for her was amazing. I'd never expected anything like that. And I, I decided then and there this is the most important value, the most important quality that I wanted to instill in her. So she is now 19 and we have spent many years together doing all kinds of projects and kindness related things.
And the fun part is that, you know, a lot of kids look at their parents job and they, they think of it as a job and she's like, you have the best quote job in the world. It's not really a job if you love it. So that's what inspired me was my daughter and wanting to raise her in a world where she sees kindness as the norm.
[00:05:36] Speaker B: No, I love that and so important and it's so simple in a way.
Probably a lot of us, certainly for myself I can think back to teachers in elementary school and just one little act of kindness to me or extra care stuck with me made such a difference in my life.
And I know that's probably true for a lot of people. So being able to, I don't know, bottle kindness, create a movement, it certainly is easy because you feel kind and then you want to be kind to others. I was on a World Kindness Day telesummit back in the fall and one of the speakers was at the University of Sussex in the uk. He founded the Kindness Institute there and he was commenting how research. Now apparently there's a lot of research on kindness for mental health and but the one thing he was saying is that often one act of kindness can lead to five more. Now that is incredible mathematics and how this ripple effect could go viral. So how's the kindness Movement grown that you've seen since you've been working there?
[00:06:58] Speaker A: Well, it's exactly like you said, there is a ripple effect. And when people become aware of the benefits of kindness, I think we've all seen, felt it. You know, when somebody's kind to us, there's that oh, thank you, you know, that sort of rush of like, oh, warmth and, and gratitude.
But the more that it's been studied over the years, we've seen that when somebody commits an act of kindness or receives an act of kindness or even witnesses an act of kindness, all of the chemicals in our body, the physiology changes. We sort see a rise in serotonin, we see dopamine and all the good feeling chemicals rise in our bodies. But we also have seen long term effects where people, if they just spend two minutes a day being kind, they are seeing lower cortisol, that's your stress hormone. They live longer, they feel better. All of these amazing things. If you think about pharmaceutical industry is probably not, not happy about all this research because it's such a simple thing to do. And, and when we get that feeling, we want more of it. So we see that we continue to do it and those that witness it want to pay it forward as well because they want to keep getting that warm feeling.
[00:08:25] Speaker B: And why hasn't it expanded farther? How's it grown? And, and what do you see the blocks are.
[00:08:33] Speaker A: Well, I think the blocks tend to be how we focus during the day. And if for instance you're on your social media feed, most of what people are seeing is negative.
We love to watch the news and see all the things happening. And then at the end there's often a one minute story about something lovely happening in the neighborhood or in the city and that's great. But one minute of kindness versus you know, an hour of negativity, I see that we have to refocus it and there's ways we can do that. I know that on my social media feed I really, I don't put the news on there. I really just have sort of positive and uplifting things.
We have to search it out and when we do that I think we start to change the narrative that things aren't so bad. There's a lot of good happening. We just aren't focusing on it.
[00:09:32] Speaker B: Yeah. So how has, since you've been with the movement, the foundation, how have you seen it grow?
[00:09:41] Speaker A: The movement itself?
[00:09:42] Speaker B: Yeah, the kindness movement.
[00:09:46] Speaker A: We see more people joining whether it's our social media or our ractivist group, that's the random acts of kindness activists.
We have seen early on we released a curriculum on kindness for schools and we were getting roughly a thousand downloads a week. Now we see about 6,000 downloads a week and we've seen that we've grown to about 40,000 schools internationally translated into 14 languages.
So we've watched over the years that people want more of this and they want it in a pretty structured way where they can see results.
And that has taken some time because it is hard to quantify kindness, to say it's working, but we're able to do that.
[00:10:46] Speaker B: How do you measure results? What are some examples?
[00:10:50] Speaker A: For example, in the schools we did research on the curriculum for in fourth and fifth grade and we saw that the grades went up, disciplinary rates went down.
Teachers and students reported that they felt closer to each other. So teacher to teacher, teacher to student, student to student, we saw that there was more inclusion in terms of peer groups, including others, and less bullying. Those are just some of the highlights of what we saw. So, so we were able to measure that when you do teach really simple concepts and focus on them like responsibility and respect and caring that that it, it does get into your heart, into your soul and you, you act and behave accordingly.
[00:11:45] Speaker B: Yeah, Heart maths research is very similar. We help children self regulate their reactions and get into a heart rhythm co measure it which they love to see it real time. How you can shift from incoherent heart rhythms to smooth coherent ones, get in sync. And then of course we see the resimar results because the heart's open and it's leading the way rather than the reactive emotions. And I think it's so wonderful whatever this work is doing because again what brings the heart rhythms into coherence?
Our genuine heart feelings like kindness, compassion, care, appreciation, respect, just all those high quality feelings that we all really want more of. But we're never taught why or what to do or how to measure it. And I'm just really grateful you're doing some of that measurement.
Given all of the social media biases for kids and the separation polarization in the world and like you said, the focus on the negative. How do you see we facilitate more kindness in the world? What's, what's your vision for how to get through this?
[00:13:07] Speaker A: Some of it is very simple. I always tell people, you know, there is kindness happening all around you all the time. It's whether we choose to tune into that and recognize it and, and acknowledge it when it happens, whether it is somebody letting you into traffic, you know, very simple things that often just sort of go by without acknowledgment. And the more we recognize and acknowledge those moments and appreciate them, the more we're going to see change.
We were just talking about it, my colleague and I today, about an act of kindness that we saw the other day. And it was just the sweetest thing and made us both smile. And we thought, this has to be acknowledged. Right.
[00:14:05] Speaker B: We.
[00:14:06] Speaker A: We had to say to the person, this was such a lovely act of kindness. And they were completely caught off guard. You know, it was like, what do you mean? I just was doing what I do. Um, but we want to acknowledge it. We want to put it out there. We want to put that energy out there and say, this is happening. Just tune in, look for it, and acknowledge it.
[00:14:27] Speaker B: Yeah, I love that. You know, you reminded me of a film that I saw and I just don't remember. Maybe you know, what it is, but it was showed one person giving a sandwich to homeless person, and that person, homeless person then doing something kind for someone else. You know, it was the ripple effect film. And it was very moving. And I thought, gee, we should. This film should be shown in all the schools. Do you know what I'm referring to?
[00:14:54] Speaker A: It might be. I'm. I'm not sure. Maybe pay it forward film, maybe.
[00:15:00] Speaker B: So I don't remember, but it. It moved me. And I think we. We need to find ways as parents and as teachers to help children anchor in those qualities so they are with them for the rest of their life. Is a.
[00:15:18] Speaker A: Well, yeah. And. And the. The natural part of human beings. We want, as you said, we want more of that. It's.
We don't want the negativity. You know, if. If you're sitting there and. And somebody offers you some flowers versus, you know, a.
A bag of trash, which. Which one are you going to choose? You always are going to want something that makes you feel good or that you can do to make others feel good.
[00:15:50] Speaker B: Yeah. Our society has created such a focus on ambition.
Stress, anxiety, depression are now epidemics. And yet people have more fulfillment and a stronger sense of connection when they're opening their hearts and their kind. And it's. You are. I love what you're doing and what the Random act of Kindness foundation is doing. Same thing with Heartmath Institute. We're in over a thousand schools, mostly in the social, emotional, learning areas. And we created a new HeartMath app with a coherence sensor for people to. For whatever they're wanting it for. Improving health, performance, meditation. It's like a Trojan horse to Opening the heart to kindness and care and the qualities that put us in heart rhythm coherence. With a vision of 100 million people downloading this so we can help love and heart and kindness go viral.
There has to be in this movement a sense of momentum. And it feels like more and more people, with all the stress and craziness going on today, are pausing, going, there's got to be something else. And maybe the biggest gift is that people will go to their heart for answers and start becoming kinder to themselves and each other.
[00:17:19] Speaker A: I, I completely agree. I, I was just before I, I logged on for this interview, I was having lunch with a friend that I hadn't seen in a long time and, and we were talking about exactly that. Just how, how do we as one person on this earth make real change? And to me, it is kindness, it is opening our heart. It is looking at the differences that we have as something to be curious about versus something to be upset about.
And that is hard to do sometimes, but, but it's what makes us who we are. And, and I, I challenge us all to do that. Look at, look at what brings us together, even though we have differences.
[00:18:11] Speaker B: You know, I'm hoping that there are many more of those conversations going on, because when we look at what is going on on the news or politically, we don't see any solutions. You know, the mind has all these differences, but in the heart, we're all the same, really. We're all got the same yearnings and fulfillments that we want. And whether it happens the same way, we want to feel that in our heart. And the more we can acknowledge that empathy or compassion or connection, the more we'll make choices based upon that. So I'm hoping the conversation you had with your friend is going on everywhere to help people really realign their heart and mind and see that we have to make some choices based on what's best for the wholeness and in order for us to move forward as a society.
[00:19:11] Speaker A: I couldn't agree more. I have this conversation all the time. And my husband and I, for instance, are not aligned politically, which has been interesting. Although we completely respect where each other comes from. We have very different backgrounds in history and experiences in life. And so we've both come to an understanding that you feel this way because of your upbringing, your experience, your life. And I respect that. I may not agree with everything and he may not agree, but in the end, we still want what's best for the human beings that we care about and this country and go down the list, we want the same thing. It's just sometimes how we get there or what we believe and what our value system is.
And, and that's, that's where I, I think you, if you enter those conversations with curiosity, then your heart will be open to hear what other people have to say.
[00:20:25] Speaker B: Yeah, that's interesting. I know there's so many families where that occurs. You know, the differences in political beliefs or religious beliefs even. And it usually creates a lot of division. I'm glad to hear that. For your situation, it's creating more openness and respect because as, as things unfold, I think it'll become more obvious what is the most effective for everyone.
The one hope that I have is some of the research that Hartmouth Institute and others have done saying as put out more care, kindness, compassion, heart rhythm, coherence electromagnetically into the energetic field environment.
It makes it easier for others, whether it's a family, workplace or on the planet, for more people to connect with their heart and get more connection with their own heart's intuitive guidance beyond how we've been brought up or our beliefs in more. That inner connection gives us more of a knowingness of what would be best for the family or each other or the wholeness. And I'm just hoping that science gets better known and can really help accelerate the movement to heart based living and heart communication and that kindness momentum we've been talking about.
[00:21:55] Speaker A: I completely agree and I think science will be what gets us there.
[00:22:00] Speaker B: Yeah, well, we're all doing our best for that. I just want to honor and appreciate what you're doing. Let's all together do a heart meditation and radiate heart coherence and kindness into the energetic field in our homes, our workplaces, wherever we are, into the planet. And as we do that, that makes our own heart brain synchronization stronger and helps us access our own heart's intuitive promptings and guidance for what's best.
So let's do this together.
Let's focus our attention in the heart.
Do some heart focused breathing in through the area of the heart, out through the area of the heart.
Find an easy rhythm that's comfortable.
Now let's breathe in love and get still in our hearts.
As we breathe out, radiate kindness qualities of love, care, respect into your mental, emotional and physical systems.
As you do this, see your heart, mind, emotions, spirit all aligning in harmony and coherence.
Now with feelings, see yourself actually consciously, intentionally practicing heart qualities like kindness for someone or something or even for yourself.
Compassion, patience.
See yourself planning to do that because the mind can get so busy we can forget See yourself practicing a heart quality today to increase your capacity to love and connect with your heart's intuitive guidance for your next steps.
Now let's see envision people across the planet practicing kindness, respect, compassion to help reduce separation on the planet, whether it's in their families, workplaces, politics. Just see more people practicing at the tips the scales towards conclusion rather than separation.
Now let's radiate our collective kindness and compassion to all people and nations suffering from separation, pain of war, trauma, natural disasters, famine.
Just radiate our heart's care, kindness and compassion and know that that's having an impact even just sending that, radiating that through our heart's energetic field to.
[00:26:45] Speaker A: It.
[00:27:12] Speaker B: Now let's close by co creating a reservoir of kindness energy, compassionate heart energy that each of us can tap into over the next month whenever we want to reconnect with kindness or need a lift in spirit or support and opening our hearts.
[00:27:36] Speaker A: It.
[00:28:13] Speaker B: Thank you so much for sharing that heart meditation with me.
Brooke. Is there anything else you'd like to share with our listeners?
[00:28:24] Speaker A: I would just share that if you're looking for ideas or ways to be kind or you want to join like minded folks, everything that we offer is completely free of charge and you can go on our website and and check it out randomactsofkindness.org and just celebrate kindness every day. Do something kind for yourself and something kind for somebody else.
[00:28:53] Speaker B: It sounds wonderful. It's better than taking a one a day multiple vitamin. I think that's right, especially in how it makes us feel and how it makes others feel well. As a free gift to our listeners, I want to also remind everyone that you can watch the HeartMath Experience, an online video course that provides HeartMath tools to increase our ability to manage stress and be kinder to ourselves and others and activate heart coherence. Just five heart math tools in it and if you haven't done so already, check out and download the HeartMath app at your app store. It has a camera sensor built in. You can play with that to see your heart rhythm coherence level and guided exercises to increase it.
And I want to remind you that on the third Tuesday of every month we publish a new AD Heart Podcast episode so be sure you subscribe so you don't miss our next guest and topic. And thank you so much Brooke. It was very inspiring and enjoyable to talk with you.
[00:30:07] Speaker A: The feeling is mutual and I am.
[00:30:10] Speaker B: So glad I was here to chat with you wonderful. Everyone take care. And really do remember, be kind to yourself.
See you later. Bye Bye.
[00:30:22] Speaker A: Thank you for listening to the Add Heart podcast. Be sure to subscribe so you can catch the latest episodes. If you're wanting even more heart inspired content, find us on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube and LinkedIn. Look for HeartMath and also the HeartMath Institute. Both organizations are committed to helping activate the heart of humanity.
